Addicted to Poetry 
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My favourite poet has been John Keats

His lyrical poems increase my heartbeats

It therefore came as a shock to hear

A new biography of his  is about to appear

Which says that he was addicted to opium 

A habit looked down upon with opprobrium

Writing verses for me is such a tedium

At  high school I didnt study in English medium

My only encounter with drugs has been with mescalin

which had opened for Huxley the doors of perception

it did nothing of the sort to me  perhaps an exception,

All that I saw was psychedelic colours in a glare

Of poetic inspiration, my brain remained bare

Remaining sober, I try to write nonsensical  rhymes

Is it senility or  perhaps it is a sign of the times

CHINESE LOVER COURERS HIMSELF*

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Lovers are like lunatics said the bard of Avon

Here is an instance of lunacy for your fun

Our hero Hu seng lived in the city of chingqing

His girlfriend Li Wang's heart he wanted to set tingling 

By doing something which the bravest would fear

His ploy was to send her a big box thru courier

And in that box  he sealed himself in, oh dear

The box was to be delivered at her office so near

That in 30 minutes he would come out with cheer

He even arranged for a videographer to capture

the scene as he  jumps out of the box to hug her

But alas the best laid plans of mice and men they say

Often go astray -  

The address on the box  had a small  error

And for Hu Seng it meant 3 hrs of sheer terror

As he almost fainted due to asphyxiation

And had to be revived by artificial respiration 

When he came to, Seng said he wanted to shout

But then thought the surprise element would then be out

He suffered in silence for the sake of his love

Not knowing that after marriage he will suffer more...and how !

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* Based on a news report dated 31st Aug 2012 in the Times of India, Bangalore edition

PROJECT 'AVATAR'*

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Do you want to be immortal, have no fear

That day is not too far, it is quite near

When your brain can easily be sliced

and fitted into a robot's top so devised

as to allow it to live unto perpetuity

What remains to be done is the nitty-gritty

the finishing  touches to cybernetic immortality 

Itskov the visionary entrepreneur has set his sight

On completing this project working day and night

He has christened it  AVATAR  which is just right

In a way it would be the triumph of mind over matter

Offering you immortality on a platter

It is no longer in the realm of science fiction

Of its scientific feasibility there is no contradiction 

The cost of this procedure though, will leave you floored

It will run into billions only the world's richest can afford 

Where does  human being's consciousness lie?

Can a brain severed from body, biological rules defy?

Is  the "me" or "I"   located in the mind or brain?

To all these questions we hunted for answers, but in vain

Can an artificial carrier sustain individual consciousness

Or Will a heart lung machine keep transplanted brain in harness

 The very thought of these problems makes my mind go blank

In the end, I think this Russian chap is just a crank

Defying death is just another  facet of human vanity

I am now working on a new ode on Intimations of Immortality 

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* Based on a news item in Times of India dated 20th July, 2012,  quoting a report from  the Daily Mail, London. 

REQUIEM FOR RAJESH KHANNA  (1942-2012)

Yesterday,  a star that shone ever so brightly

So full of life, ever smiling and sprightly

Has passed into the skies to twinkle from afar

And to many aspiring  actors be a guiding star

When first I saw him in Aakhri Khat in 1966

Searching for his lost child he seemed to be in a fix

A sallow and awkward youth, a sculptor  to boot 

Into the hallowed precincts of Bollywood he set foot 

Who could imagine that he would soar to such height

With spellbinding performances to viewer's delight

With the epic Anand  a tragedy too sad for words

In Aradhana, he and Sharmila looked great as lovebirds

IN Amar Prem he seeks solace in a courtesan's arms

Even in the badnam basti he throws around his charms 

 

Whether as a bawarchi wearing the  khadi cap

Or the dakia delivering letters wearing khaki cap

He was unparallelled   in his acting, this charming chap

Tossing of  his head, the bewitching smile,the twinkle in his eye

Made many a fair maiden swoon and say  hai hai  

The death scene in Anand I'll  remember with my mouth agape,

 "zindagi aur maut oooper wale ki haath mein hai"says the tape

Before it unwinds and all we hear is a stuccato noise  

His end too came in a similar manner, he had no choice

We are as bereaved as his family who were at his bedside

All we can do is pray for his soul- let peace abide

Epitaph  " Here was an actor.  When will there be such another?"

BEAUTY LIES IN BIRD POOP -------------------------------------------- I  always wonder while statues I admire Whether of Nelson in Trafalgar square or Dadabhai Naoroji in Churchgate Mumbai As  they stand on their  pedestals so high How come their cheeks glow with such affulgence Come rain or sunshine,as  they look at us with indulgence Now the secret is out and what a shock it was To know that it was the pigeons' poop that is the cause New York Times reports  that all ye  ladies who aspire To have a glowing skin and rosy cheeks should acquire A mask containing nightingale droppnigs @ dollars 180 Apply it on your face for an hour, you're guaranteed to look  pretty The powdered poop is flown  from land of cherry blossom If you read how it is processed, it would sound so awesome The excrement is sanitised under ultraviolet light And then mixed with rice bran, an aesthetician's delight Exfoliation and brightening of the skin will surely follow Please  dont ridicule this remedy  if you think it sounds hollow Remember that Cleopatra, the fairest of  womankind's ilk Ascribed her beauty to bathing daily in donkey's milk These exotic concoctions are most sought after today Women  will try anything to keep signs of  old age at bay Get a bee to sting you on the cheeks,and see how they puff It's cheaper than botox,  if you dont get results, call my bluff The skin care market is about to take a  quantum leap Out of L'Oreal bottles you will see bees, worms and snails creep Attacking the wrinkles,  crows feet near the corner of your eyes Removing pimples, freckles and flakes from every nook and cranny Leaving your cheeks as smooth as those of Hema Malini ----------------------------------------------------- Based on a news report in Times of India dated 6th July 2012

DALAL STREET


The etymology of sensex
May cause the prudes some vex
All it means is that it makes sense
to compare the bourses to bordellos
It's so full of enticing curves
moves up and down and swerves
In a crescendo it peaks
And the poor investor a fortune seeks
But before reaching orgasmic bliss
Falls flat on its face with a hiss
Leaving the investor a nervous wreck
What's left of his money is not even a speck
As bulls and bears dance with this dame
The dalals are upto their necks in this game
Chill winds from US and Europe they blame
And ask you to invest without any shame

Be wary of this belle dame sans merci
Palely loitering on Dalal Street
She will have you in her thrall in no time
And all you are left with will be a dime

FATHER AT 94

When I cast my eyes on the paper this morning
On the front page was his photograph adorning
Another Guinness Book record was broken
In glowing terms his achievement was bespoken
A 94 year old Jat from Sonipat became a father
When his 55 yr old second wife delivered, we gather
A bonny child, a male nevertheless, cute newborn
This signal achievement please donot scorn
If you want to know the secret of his virility
It is not eating parathas dripping with pure ghee
But eating half kilo of almonds every day
(which at today's price will cost our half month's pay)
washed down with buffalo milk - full three litres
Even to think of imitating him gives me the jitters
Hail this new hero, Ramajit Raghav is his name
Another feather in the cap to boost Haryana's fame